Positive Discipline

This is NOT your typical morning/bed-time routine chart, and that is what I LOVE about it!  When I recently was interviewing an 11-year SAHM, Kerry, I noticed this genius idea on her wall and begged her to be able to share it.  I have never seen a chart used like this and I LOVE it!  If you have children that are school-aged, this is a must-have.

What you need:

1.  A visual clock.  Kerry purchased this awesome Teaching Hands Clock (from www.difflearn.com), which is specially designed to help children understand what hour and minute it is.

2.  This awesome 2-sided routine chart to help your child know the steps needed to get out the door (or to bed) on time!

Bed-time routine chart

The genius in this chart includes the following:

1.  Pictures used to demonstrate each activity help the child to clearly visualize what needs to happen while the red minute hand is in that section of the chart.

Morning Routine chart to help children self-monitor so they get out the door by 8am!

2.  The chart can stand as the “bad guy”, so parents are less likely to get in a power struggle.  It may just be semantics, but it’s less conflict-inducing when you say “What does the clock show you need to do next?” or “oh no! You only have 3 minutes left before the clock will move on to Brush/floss time.  Can you beat the clock?” It comes across so differently than when you say, “I have told you 3 times already.  Get your PJ’s on!”

3.  It is helping your child to understand time better as they walk through and are aware of how fast 5 or 10 minutes goes by.

Super cool reversible morning/bedtime chart!

This clock is designed to be reversible.  So, you create a sort of hook on top of your clock with a twisted up wire hanger, and then you simply hang up the Morning Routine side in the AM, and flip it to the Bed-Time Routine side in the PM.

For those of you who aren’t feeling crafty, or just don’t have the time to make one of these yourself, I’m gonna work on making a template you can download.  Until then, here is a template of a Routine_chart_for_kids my sister used with her 4-year-old.  Here is part of the chart, but I recommend downloading it to see the whole chart.

Quote from Positive Discipline. Jane Nelson & Lynn Lott

This is a tiny example of using the Positive Discipline tool of “Connect before you correct”.  I am NOT saying this will always work, but I had a tiny success moment the other day and thought I would share it, in case it could help another parent.

We were leaving Music Together class (where my 1-year-old had just had a ton of fun), and he was not interested in going home.  We got to the car and I couldn’t quite open the car door to get him into his seat because the car next to us was about to pull out.  So, I set him down in the grass in front of our car and let him walk around in the median a bit (holding my hand).  *This may have not helped our situation because he loves to be outside walking around.

Anyway, once the car was gone, I opened the car door and tried to sit him in the car seat but was greated with a very hefty hip thrust forward, arching his back and screaming.  Yeah.  Loud and clear little buddy.  You do not want to get in the car. Got it.

I was guessing he was sad to leave class and all the other kids, so instead of having a power struggle to try to shove him in the seat, I pulled him out of the seat and onto my hip and talked him through it a bit. *Lots of connecting to what he was likely feeling.    “CM, I know you are sad that we are leaving.  It was so much fun in class today, wasn’t it.  We got to play with fun instruments and friends.  It’s hard to say goodbye.”

Then….the correction.

“Let’s look around though.  See! All the other kids are getting in their cars to go home.  The class is all done (a phrase he knows from when eating is done).  So, we are going to get in our car too, to go home.”

I was annoyed, but did my best to talk slowly and with a calm voice (not easy in these moments).  

After a moment of looking around and watching another car drive away, I sat him back in his car seat and talked about the fun that was ahead.  “Dad will be home when we get there, and we will cook dinner together and get to play together.”  His body softened into the seat and we were able to move forward as we normally do.

So thankful for this tool from Positive Discipline. I would love to hear comments of what you do when you get that hip thrust out of the car seat (or other tough moments).  I know they will come again!